My spouse is one of the most masculine men you will meet- no one even know he is gay- but lets face it – even he loves when i pound him a good one. I wonder how this study aligns with other studies showing that most gay men are actually vers and 1 in 5 of them don’t have anal sex? Not all big butts are created equal. And, then there are the rest of us. Now I see that is mysteriously caused by gay face. SHARE I’m surprised you’re all so dubious about this. But that all changed when I started dating Jenny. Is it because his nose is directly in my vag and the smell aroused him even more? It's fine either way. When I managed to stop clenching, I finally understood what all the fuss was about. Yeah some guys look like tops, some look like bottoms, but you never know until you get them in bed. Real emotional harm can be done. ... Men do … Straight men treat gay men not like equals, but like the more rarefied sex? I agreed to give it another try, and she told me I needed to practice on myself with fingers and toys. This test is not based on any scientific study whatsoever. I get what I want in the bedroom and then he gets what he wants. @tdx3fan: Sexuality is not always fluid and changing. Being pegged taught me a lot about my manhood. Being on top was the “manly” position. And it makes you look like you’re trying too hard to please and get attention. Honestly, I tend to laugh when people start calling me dirty names, so at first, I had no desire to bottom for her. A lot of bottoms fail to realize that they have all the power in the relationship. Guys do like putting their fingers through your hair, but just be sure that it is out of your face when you want to use your lips! @TinoTurner: how could that be a turn off- i would have nailed him hard. That being said, this doesn’t mean you have to go and shave your head! It’s made me a better lover and a better boyfriend to men, women, and genderqueer individuals. @hyhybt: Exactly. 28 YEARS?!!?! Fun. Maybe you're a top, because you love taking control and getting exactly what you want. Anal sex is over-rated. The report, Accurate Identification of a Preference for Insertive Versus Receptive Intercourse from Static Facial Cues of Gay Men, claims “naïve observers” (straight strangers?) The (bottom) bottom line: The right curve made it easier for women to not only carry babies, but to get off their bottoms and hunt down grub to feed the offspring their men … You can totally tell who’s a bottom and who’s a top. It’s sick. In hindsight, I realized the problem with my little experiment was that I wasn’t turned on. @southsam7: Well when you meet someone the first time, you’re probably going to be one or the other, at least that one time? Regardless of how wide-ranging these studies are, they tend to have one thing in common: they treat gay men as a monolithic group. Or maybe you're a bottom, because you like being dominated in the bedroom? He came across as a tough guy/macho/uber masculine. Basically, the bigger the better - but, in a warning to those who are thinking about opting for surgical enhancement, it is possible for somebody to have lips that are too big. I’d heard horror stories from friends about accidentally “letting loose” on a guy they liked. I remember her saying something like, “Honestly, I thought one of the best things about you being bi would be that you liked to bottom.”. Some people are also versatile, which means they both top and bottom, not to be confused with switch. I had also begun to embrace my identity as a “top.” Inherent to how I perceived this identity — though I didn’t realize it at the time — was the notion that top equates masculine. There are Asian and black men out there who parrot the same stereotypes about Asians all looking the same, or being effeminate, or black men all being thugs, on the DL, or overly effeminate, which they clearly learn from "mainstream media." Not only am I more aware of physical mechanics, but I feel more connected with the people I am intimate with. They want to know that you have your hobbies, ambitions and interests don't rely solely on his. Clearly they nailed it. It works a lot better. I’m a versatile gay man and this study isn’t real…. But here, I list seven of the real (and immense) psychological and behavioral costs of being a man. Straight men face a lot of social pressure, still, to earn more than their wives. Those are two beautiful and sensitive men, and pretty brave actors in a still homophobic Hollywood, even if the story was ultimately a really sad one. As with many other things, a generalization is fine until you take it too seriously and insist everybody fit it. And while men love a full pout on a women, the Mick Jaggers of this world are not necessarily on to a guaranteed winner with the opposite sex. Hard to believe that this study was actually accepted by a peer reviewed psychology journal. I know the … We are men, and make love to who we want,….and many times that just depends on the MOMENT, chemistry, alcohol,etc. It didn’t take long before I became a big ol’ bottom. Yeah some guys look like tops, some look like bottoms, but you never know until you get them in bed. I always figured being a bottom had something to do with how your prostrate was wired. Typical, straight folks TRYING their hardest to figure us out and place us in neat, little labels! This way I can move easier and give a better bj. You can often find yourself cut off from the social side of the dorm, especially if the bed’s location is bad. Seriously this has no bearing on anything. I for one know that my sexuality hasn’t changed and I do not see it ever changing. This might apply to their sample, but there is no way this can be generalized to the entire population. I had the worlds biggest crush on this guy in DC when I lived there. It’s better than derision. They are not the same as dom and sub because even though many bottoms are subs and tops are doms, there are variations such as service tops and power bottoms. I felt empowered being the one thrusting. Even then, you might not have actually been right and the guy just played along because he was into you. You can’t immediately expect to take a whole penis inside you without a warmup or knowhow. Though I’m sure no gay man would EVER lie about his preference; oh no, us gay men know that that NEVER happens. I was terrified of making a “mess,” given that was the only sensation I’d previously felt come from my rear end. I’m also definitely no longer concerned with notions of “masculinity.”. It is intended for fun only so do not treat the result too seriously :) Being his cheerleader is great and wanting to be around him as much as possible is a part of liking someone, but he'll lose interest if you let your identity become a mirror copy of his. Have these people never heard of “bossy bottoms”? Sorry to burst your bubble. Guys love independence. During anal sex, it’s possible for either partner—the insertive (top) or the receptive (bottom) to get HIV. I guess that’s true, because it happens to me every once in a while. Can they tell a switch-bitch on sight? Even though I had topped a number of guys, I was convinced that bottoming was going to be pure torture. Guys like it if you surprise him here and there by introducing him to new styles or being open to adjusting to his style. Apparently a natural emotional process like this seems mysterious and arcane to anyone who’s used to spelling everything out explicitly online? And then (can I be frank here?) After a few months, I decided I wanted to bottom for him. Stupid study. REALLY?!?! @Chris-MI: “PROSTRATE”?!?! A fake dom may say things like, “You’re not really a sub,” or, “A good sub would do XYZ.” If you’re a sub, don’t fall for it. It’s a whole different thing when women play with my anus: It’s kinky. Whatever. He kept saying, “Relax,” but I was simply too terrified to really try. It’s not rocket science. Even then things may turn out different depending on vibe. (I’m ve-ry ver-sa-tile…). Most guys could somehow “tell” what the others were into, just by visual cues. Let’s go back to the hanky code of the old days that let you know what was expected, wanted, and appreciated. In your knowledge, everyone knew what everyone was into because you claim you knew what everyone was into… except for all those times that you were wrong that you probably do not remember as well as the times you thought you were right. And you &/or the other guy can often “tell” somehow, without either of you tediously explaining it. I realized that’s where I went wrong the first time. On a related note, in some cultural settings, being gay is largely associated with being the bottom. Want to make a longer comment about all this BS later when I have more time. I was terrified of bottoming before I tried it. Regardless, I loved Jenny and I would do anything for her, including taking it up my ass. In the years since, I’ve bottomed for plenty of men and women. 3) Anti-social. “A good kisser is an open-minded kisser…I get really excited because it means when we get to doing other stuff, she’ll be really open-minded as well,” says Jason, 28. Together, these results suggest that people rely on perceptions of characteristics relevant to stereotypical male–female gender roles and heterosexual relationships to accurately infer sexual roles in same-sex relationships. We eventually get in bed and he lays there like a total corpse just begging to be banged like a little woman…it was totally a turn off. However, if you are HIV-negative, bottoming without a condom puts you at much greater risk for getting HIV than topping. I was like, “Really? Study is bogus, SOMEONE has NOT heard of *bears & cubs. If you are HIV-positive, being on the top without a … We feel the same way about yours, buddy! 26. You guys are bad at being gay. @dc.196434: And if you’re a Dom, don’t say things like that unless the sub consents to being talked to that way. Hmm. But I guess most guys tend to lean significantly one way or the other, but facial recognition of that is lame. @TinoTurner: We clearly have radically different notions of the concept of “turn-off.” jaja. Use a dictionary…or GOOGLE. I consider myself vers but I sure love to bottom. [Read: Why do men like breasts?] I was on my stomach the entire time because for whatever reason, I thought it would be the easiest way to start out — FYI, it’s not! But bottoming with a woman, I’ve discovered, is not at all like bottoming with a man. Later, at Jenny’s place, she started fingering me while jerking me off: “Relax,” she whispered. In Study 1, we found that naïve observers were able to discern men’s sexual roles from photos of their faces with accuracy that was significantly greater than chance guessing. Weigh it up guys – top or bottom… So I went through with it, making all the classic first-time bottoming mistakes: I didn’t “clean” prior because I had no idea how, and the whole time he was inside me, I clenched for dear life. Although my relationship with Jenny didn’t last, my love of bottoming did. There are many potential pressures to face and overcome. are you that dumb?” He also used to call small figured women ‘pateak’. And it's funny that they get offended when whites do … Many woman prefer being on top not only for penetration purposes but also to control the speed. That was until I started dating this guy who mostly topped. I’m on year 3 and I cant imagine being with my man for another day and also can imagine life without him. By and large, grooming body hair, or 'scaping, can mean a light trim, a lined pattern, or complete removal. 1. You're Needy . 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